


How Many Nights Does it Take to Count the Stars?

by lizzybizzyzzz



Series: Precious Peter Parker, Punctured Peter Parker, and Especially Everything In-Between [18]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker Has Anxiety, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Precious Peter Parker, Sleepy Cuddles, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 21:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15938330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzybizzyzzz/pseuds/lizzybizzyzzz
Summary: Peter scrunches his eyebrows, much to his mentor's amusement. "Like, Buzz Lightyear?"Tony can't hide the smile, his face betrays him and shows the true happiness he feels in this moment. He only chuckles and shrugs. "To infinity and beyond, kid."





	1. Infinity

Tony floats through the day. It’s a blur to him, the seemingly useless and boring meetings Pepper bullies him into going to have taken more of a toll on him than he would like to admit. When he looks in the mirror his under-eye bags don’t go well with his custom-made suits and it’s really dragging on the whole playboy title he made for himself so many years ago. God, he wanted this thing off his body. It clung to all the wrong places and though it looked nice, it was itchy and hot.

 

He also fidgeted uncomfortably with his phone, looking at it every few minutes. Usually his ankle-biter of a protege is blowing up his phone with _something,_ whether it’s suit ideas or just funny pictures that Tony can roll his eyes at but secretly save to his camera roll. There were no messages, in fact the kid hadn’t texted him since the man left and that was two days ago. This must be some paternal thing because Tony felt his heart beat abnormally at the thought of Peter being anything but alive and thriving. He’d noticed the contentedness that washes over him when the younger hero is with him, studying under him, giving him a companionship he’d never found beforer. The kid was a genius and sure he had Bruce, but Peter had a youth to him that could only be brought by, well, the youth themselves.

 

When Tony finally stepped into Avengers Tower, he didn't expected to be bombarded with concerns and questions about said kid. Rhodey clapped him on the shoulder with a face Tony couldn’t pin until his friend actually opened his mouth.

 

Rhodey cleared his throat awkwardly. “So, there’s-uh, a kid upstairs. Says he’s your intern but looked a little shady. F.R.I.D.A.Y. knew him, said he could go up. He looked wrecked, didn't stop stuttering.”

 

Tony raised his eyebrows at the older man. “Short teenage boy with curly brown hair, kinda sounds like a girl?”

 

“Sounds like the one.” Rhodey chuckled right as the elevator dinged, noting that they were now at the penthouse level. “Looked like he was ‘bout to collapse he was so tired.”

 

All of his own exhaustion was temporarily washed away and he parted with his friend with a small smile. He set off and pushed into his room. The sight was enough to bring any softie to their knees and Tony can’t say he wasn’t swayed a little.

 

There Peter was, curled into Tony’s bed, textbooks and paper sprawled across his sleeping body. The billionaire chuckled quietly at the pen stuck to his chin from drool. He quickly took a photo with his phone before clearing the area of the work, letting the kid sleep while Tony changed and got ready for bed.

 

When he came back from the bathroom, Peter was still asleep. Tony had never see him so relaxed, so young-looking. His hair was a mess and there was dried spit on Tony’s pillow from where he was drooling, no doubt  something he would be embarrassed about if he were awake. Tony just smiled softly and went to wake him up, guilt playing with his moral compass. There was no real reason for waking Peter up except that Tony missed him and wanted to talk for a bit. Fuck he’d admit it, he missed Peter. It really wasn’t something he was ashamed of because the child before him deserves the world, but Tony is scared of the possible rejection so his mouth stays shut about that. That might not be a problem anymore because Peter had obviously sucked up enough pride to sleep in his mentor’s bed but he decided to keep it to himself anyway.

 

He gently puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder and shakes until Peter is gasping, his eyes widening before he grabs Tony’s hands and squeeze in a defense.

 

The billionaire yelps and pulls out of the boy’s grasp. “Hey, hi, it’s me.”

 

Peer blinks in his sleep-ridden daze before his eyes widen once more, he scrambles away from the man and almost falls from the bed. “Aye, man! Fancy seeing you here.”

 

It would be funny if he wasn’t heaving and Tony isn’t really sure what to say so he smirks. “When I told you I wanted more men in my bed, this isn’t what I meant, Pete.”

 

The boy’s nose scrunches up in slight disgust. “Mr. Stark!” He groans.

 

Tony shrugs and sits against the headboard next to his protege. “Did you have a bad dream?”

 

“No,” Peter says in earnest. The tension slowly drips away from his body and he lays back down, his forehead nudging Tony’s lower thigh. “Just scared me is all.” He words slurred together from sleeping and voice was raspy and lower than Tony had ever heard 

 

He nods and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Want a ride home, kid? I’ll take you now if you want.”

 

Tony doesn’t ignore the way Peter shifts uncomfortably, suddenly leaving his leg cold and absent. He scooched away before answering. “May went out and I-I didn’t want to be alone so I came here to do some work but I was _so_ tired and took a nap instead. Sorry Mr. Stark, I’m gonna go to my own room so you can get some rest.”

 

Tony rolls his eyes and waves his hand at him. “Nonsense, were having a slumber party. I’ll put a movie on and Spider-baby can go to sleep.”

 

Peter lets out a relieved breath, something that Tony does overlook so he doesn’t get more attached than he already is and picks a movie. It’s a little awkward at first because Peter won’t come near him. He jumps away when they touch accidently and profusely apologizes. Tony watches his drift in and out of consciousness.

 

Tony is about to fall asleep when the soft weight hits his forearm. Peter’s smooth hands wrap around his calloused ones and he’s snoring soundly. The lull of the movie plays in the background as Tony cards his fingers through the child’s hair for awhile.

 

Peter doesn’t open his eyes when he whispers, it’s so quiet that Tony doesn’t’ even hear him. “Thanks Misser S’ark.” He mumbles against the man’s arm.

 

Tony feels a blush creep into his cheeks. “Thank _you,_ Mr. Parker.”

 

Then he’s asleep again, for Tony to look after him. Peter’s vulnerability right now is a blessing and a curse he thinks. All in all, Tony could stay here for an infinite eternity.


	2. Oblivion

This time it’s after a mission. A mission he didn’t let Spider-Man attend in the mere fact that he could die. Plain and simple, Peter’s mortality scared him senseless and in any instance he could stay away from impendation he would. Sure, the kid would resent him for a couple days and maybe even ignore him for that long, but Tony took the sass in return for the safe, stingy teenager. He wouldn’t tell anyone, but he also loved how clingy the boy would become the few days after in his guilt for ignoring his mentor, Tony would just smile and pat his cheek in forgiveness. The denial wasn’t like anything he ever got from Steve or Natasha, it was sugary and unlike the coldness the brought. Peter was still there.

 

After mission whether Spider-Man was there or not, before he sulked, Peter would leave advil and water on every table Tony came in contact with to assure he take one dosage (he put the other’s back per the boy’s post-it note request). He made sure Tony had a soft blanket in the lab when he inevitably fell asleep in there to hide from Pepper’s post-mission disappointment. Peter made him dinner albeit being a terrible cook at least he tried. Peter also waited for him sometimes, looked him up and down for a minute before slipping on his mask and climbing out the window again without a word.

 

This time, Spider-Man was perched on the roof, eyes glued to the sky. Tony could see his from behind, his heart beat pushing over one hundred bpm at the sight on him on the ledge. He made sure to clear his throat and to the side as not the scare the teenager, but it was too late.

 

It was only a second before Peter was jumping up and ripping his mask off, eyes wild and angry red. He was puffing his chest out slightly and crossed his arms over it.

 

Tony gave him a half smile of shame and held his hands out in surrender. “Listen I know you don’t care for me right now, but you have to know. I’m trying to protect the one thing I can’t- I’m trying to protect you. C’mon, kid, lets go inside so you can shiver angrily in there, yeah?”

 

Tony should have known, the teenager didn’t move a muscle. Said shiver trembled through his body at the chilly air and his hair landed above his eyes. Tony had to restrain himself at brushing it away,runny his hands through those soft curls and taking in hoe Peter leaned into the touch. The boy was holding a grudge that Tony didn’t care to deal with right now. All he wanted to do was hug him, he’d settle for a high five right now if the kid really didn’t want it.

 

That’s when he noticed the tear tracks stained down his pink cheeks. His adam’s apple was bobbing in a silent sob and Tony’s eyebrows scrunched in confusion. His heart couldn’t take much more of this before he surged forward, planting his hands on Pter’s shoulders and looking _him_ up and down. “Kid?”

 

Peter looked dead, his eyes were dark and didn’t hold their usual twinkle. Tony tried to hold back the wince at the feeling of his cold skin, icy and burning cold under his touch. Peter didn’t melt into it like usual, he held strong and oblivious to anything. “I thought you were dead.”

 

Tony has to hold back his quip by biting his lip so hard he tastes blood. He remembers what he read about comforting children in that book when he’d mentored Peter for the first time. He had given into the fact that this child would soon become like his own and there was nothing stopping him from being the best father-figure mentor that he could be. “I’m right here. You’re stuck with me for a long time whether you like it or not.”

 

Peter pulled himself from Tony’s grasp and turned away, the spider on his back glowed bright. Tony made that feature to show when his heart rate was elevated or when he was simply in distress. It mocked him now, the stitching screamed _haha, your fault_ and made his ears ring with it. “I thought that about Ben, too. And my parents. You know what they all have in common?” He whipped around and got into Tony’s face. “They’re all dead, Tony! All of them.”

 

Tony took a calming step back and let his hands hover over Peter’s chest at the formality of the name. There wasn’t a thought that Peter would ever hurt his mentor, but a little part of Tony knew he was more than capable. He let his finger gingerly push the front emblem and the suit fell off him and onto the ground. Tony took off his own hoodie and zipped it around the shaking boy before he could protest. “I’m almost a little offended that you think I can’t take care of myself but thank fuck I have you to do it. Kid, I'd be dead without you but I don’t want that debt repaid, especially by you.”

 

Peter huffed and wrapped his arms around himself again, this time it was for comfort. Tony’s fingers twitched to help, to let the boy curl into him and squeeze tight in nothing less than affection. “I could have saved him, I shouldn’t be _alive._ If it was me, people would be happier, my aunt… She could be happy, _you_ could be happy. It’s all my fault.”

 

At that, Tony did hold him. He took his smaller hand in his own and squeezed as tight as he could. This would ground Peter long enough for Tony to talk, to maybe pull him back inside and pull a blanket around him. He shook his head at the boy. “That’s the hero talking. It’s not your fault.”

 

Peter finally let out a sob, the emotion was overwhelming to both of them and Tony flinched and the noise. “How do you know, Mr. Stark?”

 

Tony rubbed his thumb over the other boys’ pale knuckles. “Because I know you.” Short and simple, thank God it worked because Peter finally slumped into him, blubbering and crying into his shoulder. He would never get used to it, but it would never get old. “If you wanted a hug you should have asked.” He said cockily.

 

Peter gave a wet chuckle, tears soaking into the man’s shirt. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry, sorry for everything.”

 

Tony rubbed his back gently. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m okay.”

 

They stood there and after a few times, Peter stopped getting mad when Tony didn’t let Spider-Man fight. After all, he was protecting Peter Parker. Peter knew what it was like losing those you love. Tony knew he’d understand eventually whether it took him ten days or ten years.

 

“I don’t want to do that to you.” Peter had said through the comms as he made his way back to the tower. The other Avengers would stand in astonishment and Tony would smile under the metal.

 

Tony connected to his own communication line. “C’mon, seven dwarves, I’ve got a kid to get back to.”

 

And that he did, he went back every time to Peter sitting on the ledge, mask in one hand, sweater in the other. Tony finally got a smile in greeting when the suit shredded off of him. It’s infinite he supposes, that Peter Parker saved his life in a hundred way and was completely blind to it.

 

Tony sits on the couch unmoving as not to disturb the protege sleeping and leaning on his bicep, Rhodey at his other side watching some sitcom ( _“Tony, shut the hell up and let me live my life. I already can’t move my legs, let me watch my show.”_ ) Peter snores and his hands clench Tony’s in his sleep adorably.

 

Maybe Tony couldn’t stop the vigilante from patroling or going on all missions, but he could take in these little moments that Rhodey was sure to tease him about later. It was all worth it as he looked down at the boy’s peaceful face and yeah, he’s worth in infinity that Tony was prepared to rip out for him.


	3. That's How Long it Takes

The answer is years. It'll take years to be same same if at all. It'll never be the same earth Peter walked on. Tony doesn't want to be on it without him. If only the kid had listened but that wouldn't have mattered, he would have died anyway. Whether he was with his mentor or not, the teenager was in the fifty-fifty that go the short end of the stick of life. Peter turned to ash in his arms, it seeped through his fingers and some blew away. Peter had stuck to Tony, a last effort to stay alive. He used his powers for the good of himself and his mentor, but it wasn't enough. Peter's efforts weren't enough to stop his inevitabile death and Tony would make sure someone paid for that. With less sanity he expected Peter to be at the tower, waiting for him with a hug and a smile with his red mask in his hand, waiting for a mission report. 

 

When Tony got off the ship this time he knew Peter wouldn’t be there, the ash stuck to his hand reminded him of that whenever he looked at them. It wouldn’t come off not matter how many times he brushed his hands on his palms or washed them the ash wouldn’t recede. People had stared at them but nobody dared to ask about the ash all of them were familiar with. The ash that condescended into his soul, a breaking point that would have nothing but blood.

 

The words had rung in his head, they wouldn’t _stop_. There was no prevail between the teenager’s sobs and his last breath, all played like a song to Tony. Constantly, on repeat until there was nothing left but silence and his child’s last breath.

 

_“I’m sorry.”_

 

In that moment, Tony hadn’t ever felt like such heartbreak. He’d have rather lived his life over until he rots than hear those words come from Peter’s mouth. And for those to be his last words, the last thing Tony would ever hear from him made him sick. The words of apology were bitter on his lips as he pressed a kiss to the hands that held the boy. The ones that held the ashes of his hero.

 

The hands that would fix this. The ones that would have to because this is a break that would kill him. Tony’s been tortured, enslaved, taken for ransom and anything else off the tip of his tongue but this is worse than all of those.

 

See, when you lose your parents you become an orphan, it’s simple vocabulary. Tony himself is an orphan, Peter was an orphan, but now Tony don’t know what to call himself. He just lost _everything_ that mattered to him _._ There’s no word for losing a child because it’s already the gist of heartbreak; it’s already a _thing._ Tony lost a child, one that became like a son to him, one that trusted him and believed in him more than anyone.

 

The weight of the world was no longer resting on Tony’s shoulders because it was left on the ash of his fingertips. The lands around him crumpled when Peter Parker did and there was no other explanation for the emptiness of the air around him. The atmosphere was vacant of yet another hero, Tony’s hero, and he cried.

 

He cried and wiped his hands across his face, he cried and smashed them against the marble in front of him. He cried into Rhodey’s shoulder and showed him the remaining pieces of his son. He cried for days, he cried and cursed his fingers because he couldn’t look at them without thinking of the world he let down.

 

So he worked. Tony worked until the ash glittered orange and flew off his hands in a dust tornado, beautiful and glowing. Hope flared in his chest in hopes of seeing the boy’s ash that it belonged to, the one he couldn’t and would never get out of his head. He hopped into a quinjet with Rhodey and Clint and set the course to Titan.

 

His hands twitched with excitement when he saw it. The metallic red and blue with a strange hue of orange around his figure. There he was, Peter Parker materializing before his eyes and Tony couldn’t move faster. His knees hit the pavement faster than he would like to admit and he was terrified when the teenager spluttered, coughing up dust and ash particles in horror.

 

“Pete?” Tony whispered, reaching out to touch him, letting their fingers intertwine.

 

The kid smiled, that smile Tony knows is worth anything he’d give to see it. He smiles back.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Tony’s heart clenches and he tightens his grip on the boy’s fingers. “Don’t ever repeat that sentence, kid. I’ve been looking for you for an infinity. Space isn’t your strongest suit.”

 

Peter scrunches his eyebrows, much to his mentor's amusement. "Like, Buzz Lightyear?"

 

Tony can't hide the smile, his face betrays him and shows the true happiness he feels in this moment. He only chuckles and shrugs. "To infinity and beyond, kid.”

 

He looks up at the stars and then back at Peter, but who's to say there's much of a difference.

**Author's Note:**

> I get this might be a little confusing, but bear with me. 
> 
> comments and kudos make me write faster, it's science


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